I was in the winter of my life- and the men I met along the road were my only summer. At night I fell sleep with vision of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them. Three year down the line of being on an endless world tour and memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not very popular one, who once has dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again- sparkling and broken. But I really didn’t mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lied you head.
I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiviness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obssesion for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzlez and dizzied me.
Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people- and finally I did- on the open road. We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.
LIVE FAST. DIE YOUNG. BE WILD. AND HAVE FUN.
I believe in the country America used to be. I belive in the person I want to become, I believe in the freedom of the open road. And my motto is the same as ever- *I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself- I Ride. I Just Ride.*
explain the feeling of walking away and that person not coming after you? at first your in a daze, like what your doing isnt actually real, like am i really getting my clothes on and packing my bag and stuff. then once your out of the house, you wait for the door to open again behind you as you walk up the drive. it doesnt but your like oh they’re probably getting their shoes on or whatever. as you keep going you keep making excuses for why they havent got to you already, hes been stoped by his mum. hes had to find keys to get back in cause else how would we get back in. when your nearly home, it hits you that you cant hear any footsteps behind you and you stop and wait, looking at the way you came for a while, waiting to see them. then you get to your door, let your self in and it hits you that they didnt give enough of a fuck to chase after you. the feeling of walking away and that person not coming after you? it fucking sucks.
And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult- we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had at the beginning. He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. And I still love him. I love him.
Listen to me… PAIN is temporary. It may last for a minuite or an hour or a day or even a year, but eventually it will subside. And something else will take its place. If i quit however it will last forever. Ya’ll spoiled some of ya’ll spoiled just bottom line. Your parents have done everything for you, you never had to do nothing for yourself your spoiled we gon’ keep it real tonight some of you are spoiled brats! Everytime you ever got in trouble somebody in your house got you out of it! Every time you done something your not supposed to you they say here your mothers a tyrant YOU RIGHT! She kicked me out your right… shes mean, but she developed a man. Because she put me out there and said you gon’ have to grow up and some of you NEVER learned to grow up. So every time somethin get hard you quit, you call momma. I DARE you to take a lil pain. I dare you… i dare you not to go home, somebody said if i dont go home i feel bad, go throw it!! You aint gon’ die?! At the end of pain is SUCCESS! You not gon die because you felt a lil pain! Oh im not eatin like i eat at home.. thats why you about to go to the next level cause if you keep eatin like you ate at home you gon’ keep being a boy or girl.. its time to become MAN WOMAN. But im exactly where i wanted to be because i realise, i gotta commit my very being to this thing… i gotta breathe it i gotta eat it i gotta sleep it and untill you get there, you will never be a sucessful in life. But once you get there i guarantee you.. the world is yours. So work hard and you can have whatever it is you wanted.
a motivational speech by Lance Armstrong
” We Will All Laugh At Gilded Butterflies”
I have always admired megan’s tattoo though i could never really make sence in it at all. Seeing it frequently in pictures on blogs i felt i had to understand it…
i knew it came from a passage written by Shakespeare,
“Come, let’s away to prison:
We too alone will sing like birds I’ the cage;
When thou dost ask me blessing I’ll kneel down
And ask of thee forgiveness; so we’ll live,
And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh
At gilded butterflies…”
- King Lear to daughter Cordelia
It refers to the scene where King Lear and his one true faithful daughter are being led to prison by his two other vicious sly daughters who have abandoned, lied and betrayed him. While at prison, it allowed him to take a step back and realize the true colours of the rich and wealthy who are incredibly selfish. He now hopes to live a simple life with his one and only truly loyal daughter, and together they will watch and ‘laugh at gilded butterflies’ laugh at the gossips, the games, the lies and the extravagance of others but he will be happy as he is with his daughter whose love and loyalty can never be exchanged for wealth. I think this quote is beautiful and has deep meaning into it. A butterfly represents something of extreme natural beauty, by gilding it; it is covering it with gold. To arrogant humans for example, they will perceive these ‘gilded butterflies’ to be something more attractive, thus not realizing it would destroy it’s natural beauty. Gilding a butterfly will also mean it will not be able to fly as it is covered in heavy gold, therefore they cannot really function. All they do is sit there and look pretty therefore making it evidently worth nothing. King Lear refers to his two daughters and the courtship as ‘gilded butterflies’ as on the outside they have this artificial beauty that looks ‘solid gold’ but is not. He realizes the stupidity and idiocy of this …and it seems rather, Megan Fox does too. It could be that Megan Fox also sees that by gilding a butterfly , for example people who apply heavy makeup, are in fact masking their natural beauty and by gilding a butterfly they cannot fly or rise to amount to anything. In context to Hollywood, Fox is inferring that these spoiled rich barbie bitches are all artificial and will never amount to anything truly significant, and her tattoo implies that although she is sucked into the glitz and glam of Hollywood, she is not one of them, that she is more than just a pretty face and that she acknowledges that she has more value and purpose rather than just her appearances.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
- Greg Behrendt